Tim Frazier –

Zombie Population Control Specialist

Tim Frazier –  - Zombie Population Control Specialist

Surgery for Spondylolisthesis

Tomorrow, at or around 0700 CT, Doctor Devesh Ramnath will be performing a lumbar lamenectomy fusion on my achey-breakey back.

I’ll chronicle as much of my experience here as I can, as soon as I can.

Let me start by saying the last few weeks my pain level has been steadily climbing. I firmly believe that this is a psychosymatic reaction to finding out I had a fractured vertebrae, coupled with the approaching surgery date.

Tonight, with surgery a mere seven hours away, I’m feeling like an ice pick is being twisted between my vertebrae. Despite 10 milligrams of hydrocodone coursing through my veins.

Surely it can’t get any worse.

I know some close family and friends will be looking here for updates. I’ll do my best to post in a timely manner.

Thanks for the prayers and support, folks.

Riding Three Twisted Sisters in the Texas Hill Country

Bandera HouseStanding on the balcony overlooking the river flood plane below our rented house in Bandera, Texas, I was itching for sunup. The sunset was beautiful, and the small herd of wild deer jostling each other aside as they worked for their share of the grain Robin had strategically piled in the back yard were a joy to watch from so near a vantage point, but I was there for one thing and one thing only: the ride.Bandera Sunset

We had arrived and unpacked in a stellar former ranch house that had been up converted into a two story with a massive master bedroom and bath over the car port, where the gleaming Yamaha Road Star Silverado and Triumph Rocket III now waiting for morning.

While the rest of the family finished their wildlife observations and settled into the great room to watch TV I slid into the king size bed upstairs and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

I awoke shortly after sunrise and within an hour Mike and I were in our saddles and pointing our bars north to the Three Sisters Hill Country Scenic Drive. I had the GoPro Hero mounted on the front right dresser bar and snapping a pic every thirty seconds as we leaned and accelerated through 150 miles of curves, hills, and valleys.

We made it back to our “base camp” well before dark and had a nice barbeque dinner in downtown Bandera. Within a couple more hours we were all nestled back into the rental house and watching the NRA 500. I wasn’t able to make it through the entire race, as I had consumed my nightly regimine of pain killers for my fractured vertebrae and soon had to drag myself back upstairs to dream of the hairpin turns and majestic rolling Texas hills I’d ridden over mere hours before.

510

The final day of our trip was spent breakfasting at the Old Spanish Trail Cafe and browsing the local antique shops prior to loading up the cages and heading home.

I said a forlorn goodbye to Moonshine as she disappeared into the distance on Mike’s trailer. She will be staying in his capable hands in Tyler untill I’ve recovered from my upcoming spinal surgery.

Perhaps I’ll be able to squeeze one more ride in this weekend before I go under the knife next Tuesday. I may just drive to Tyler Friday night in the motor home and do a one day swamp or piney woods ride before she get’s locked away in Mike’s garage for the next several months.

SONY DSC


Three Sisters


EveryTrail – Find the best Hiking near San Antonio, Texas

Gearpocalypse Day 187

My Triumph Rocket III v5

One-hundred-eighty-seven days, thirty-four minutes, and two cigars.

That’s how long it’s been since I’ve planted my butt in the saddle of my Triumph R3 for a good long ride. I’m probably going to have to take up smoking.

Two weeks ago I stopped in at Eurosport and Tony was nice enough to pull me into the shop so I could see what was being done to my bike.

There’s a reason that surgeons don’t allow family to come in and watch when they are meddling around with the innards of a loved one on the operating table. Motorcycle mechanics should have the same basic rules.

Seeing my precious in a hundred or so pieces made me feel nauseous. I have full faith and confidence that Tony’s crew knows what they’re doing, but I’d just as soon not see behind the curtain again. The only parts I could readily recognize were the front forks and wheel propped up forlornly in the corner, and the barren frame on the lift in the middle of the shop floor.

The guys are working hard to re-assemble Moonshine after replacing a few gears and linkage parts inside the gearbox. I’ve told Tony I’m desperate to get some riding in before my back surgery in late April. After that it will be another six months of no riding.

Misery.

Lumbar Laminectomy and Fusion on the Horizon

I have about 7 weeks to get some serious two-wheeling in before I go under the knife yet again; this time for a rebuild of my lower back.

For those who stumbled onto this site looking for personal experience with this surgery, I intend to blog all the gory details about the 9+ years of pain in my lower back, how difficult and painful the recovery is, and how fast I get back to “normal” as well as the extent of improvement post recovery.

My surgeon has already warned me that relieving the pressure on my spinal cord by removing the lamina and fusing the L4, L5, and S1 vertebrae with the addition on titanium rods, plates, and screws will not cure me of back pain, but it should cure my sciatic leg pains and numbness. I will be ecstatic even if that’s the minimum I get out of it.

fusionMy current condition is constant pain ranging from 4 to 7 on a one to ten scale, with spikes to 100 on a one to ten scale if I do any heavy lifting at all. This type of pain defies the laws of mathematical statistics. I have a fractured vertebrae…the common medical term is a “burst fracture”, which means that a sudden compression crushed the vertebrae and it cracked into multiple pieces. I also have two herniated discs above and below that vertebrae which are pressing on my spinal cord, That’s where the sciatic nerve junctions off to travel down the legs, hence my constant leg pain.

I’m hopeful that in the near future I will be able to perform physical labor without having to spend the following two days consuming pain killers like Doctor House.

Stay tuned if you’re interested.

A Warning About WalMart.com

walmartGot a WalMart.com account?

Don’t store your credit card info in it.

Here’s why:

Walmart currently has a personal computer at one of their Maryland stores that was shipped there for store pickup via a fraudulent order on my account. I assume someone hacked my account due to lousy internet security. My experience with WalMart.com customer support indicates the whole company may be infested with incompetence.

I recieved an email notice about this charge on 2/12/13 and immediately called WalMart.com customer service at 800.966.6546 to alert them that the order was fraudulent. I also called my credit card company’s fraud reporting line and reported the card as lost or stolen.

The WalMart.com service representative assured me that the Maryland store would be instructed not to release the product and that my credit card would not be charged.

He lied. My card was charged with the full amount a couple of days later.

I called the Maryland store directly this morning and was told the product had not been released. As to the charge on my card they redirected me back to WalMart.com customer support at (800) 966-6546.

I called, and was informed that I would have to dispute the charge with my financial institution.

When I asked why WalMart charged my card after I informed them the order was fraudulent I just got a repeat of the statement that I would have to dispute the charge with my financial institution.

I asked to speak to a supervisor, and got Diane.

Diane stuck to the story, and had no explanation of why WalMart.com would charge my account when no one had recieved the product. She merely stated that she could not provide a refund under federal law on a fraudulent charge. I told her there shouldn’t have been a fraudulent charge because WalMart made the charge AFTER I reported a fraudulent order, and what happened to the policy of not charging a customer until the item was picked up?

She wasn’t willing to provide any answers, and just kept repeating the same irrelevant nonsense.

So now I’m sitting here deciding whether to pay some bills late or dig into the savings account because WalMart has charged me for a product I haven’t recieved, that WalMart still has in its possesion, and my bank is closed for President’s Day.

The little guy once again has to deal with the hassle and accept all the risk.

I’ve closed my WalMart.com account and plan to avoid their stores like the plague henceforth.

I would appreciate anyone and everyone reposting this article, as the web is the only recourse we have against large corporations that tilt their shoulders and force their customers to accept all risk in every transaction.

Tell ‘em it’s all because of the way they mishandled order #2677063-458618 and allowed a thief to victimize their customer.

Mind Mapping

Unchaining Your Creative Brain

mindmap

The problem with being open minded is things tend to fall out of it.  The problem with freeing your mind is sometimes it wanders off and can’t find its way back.

Mind maps are a great way to let your thoughts wander “outside the box” without getting lost, and there are some great software products out there that make it fast, simple, and even sharable.

Perhaps we should start at the beginning with an explanation of what mind mapping is.

Mind mapping is a non-linear process document that evolves from a central topic or theme into numerous sublevels of other topics.  The process of creating a mind map typically allows one to arrive at uncommon solutions and ideas that probably would not have even come up for consideration using a traditional linear problem solving approach.

Note taking is an example of linear process.  As you hear or see something, you write down words that will help you remember the things you saw and heard later. Non-linear process is more like a movie, pictures and sounds that are recorded in clips of video.

Mind maps aren’t for everyone.  They tend to be used more by right brained individuals (the creative “free spirits”) than the logical, analytical left brained counterparts.  Yet the left brained folks are the ones who stand to benefit the most from mind mapping, as they have all the known potential of their left brain and a treasure trove of unlocked potential on the right just waiting to be unlocked and added into a perfect synergy.

Mind mapping is one of those rare non-controversial tools in life that you can take or leave at will depending on whether you find it helpful or just a waste of time.

Creating your first mind map is simple.  You need a writing instrument and a piece of paper (a cocktail napkin will do nicely, since it always makes a great story to have the next generation say in awe filled tones, “She [He] just mapped the idea out on a cocktail napkin one day, and here we have a multibillion dollar company [airline] to show for it.”

Or, you can download a free Mind mapping app to your Android or IOS device and make an electronic mind map that you can distribute to peers or even convert to an outline at the touch of a button.  We’ll provide a couple of those apps at the end of this article.  We’re waiting until the end because we’re hoping desperately that some enterprising app developer out there is reading this and will produce one named “Cocktail Napkin” by the time we finish writing.  That would be so cool.  One could do a mind map 100% electronically and still truthfully say it was done on a Cocktail Napkin.

Now, pick a topic.  How about “Mind Mapping Article”?  Place those words in the center of your cocktail napkin.  Now think of what you might want to communicate via your mind mapping article.  A description of what a mind map is?  Sure.  Draw a radiating line out from your central topic and write: Description.  Now, what would a description need to include?  Perhaps purpose of mind mapping and what a mind map looks like?  Draw two lines radiating from “Description” and write Purpose at the end of one line and Visual at the end of the other.  Maybe you can’t think of anything else to use for a subtopic under description.  So go back and think of other higher level topics to include in your mind mapping articles.  Like “Mind Mapping tools”.  Then under those perhaps “links to mind mapping apps”.  How about, “how to create a mind map”?

Perhaps there’s some emotion you want to convey through your article.  Maybe you want to inject humor into a subject to help keep the reader’s interest.  Perhaps something about fruit.  Fruit is funny.  Draw a line from your central topic and write “humor”.  Draw a line from humor and write fruit.  When you’re writing your article after your mind map creation is done, you may look back at it and go, “Oh yeah, I wanted to put something funny about fruit in there.”  This will prompt you to end your article with something truly hilarious.

Great job, you’ve nearly written this article, only two paragraphs to go.

Mind mapping is a great tool to get the creative side of your brain primed when it’s been off wandering in the dessert of brain lock and boredom.  The greatest part of it is you are free to write down nonsense that no one else will find logical, but may lead you into one of those eureka moments because we all have unique neural pathways within our minds that only we can comprehend.

Mind mapping allows you to uncover the nuggets of brilliance you have stored along those neural interstates without having to show the world the crazy leaps of logical faith you made to arrive at them.  After all, too many great ideas have been squashed before they were ever uttered when some silly random thought was publicly expressed and received the response of “that’s crazy” when the simple addition of “…so crazy it might just work.” would have changed our entire paradigm.

Banana!

Links to the author’s favorite mind mapping apps:

SimpleMind

Android – http://www.simpleapps.eu/simplemind/android

IOS – http://www.simpleapps.eu/simplemind/touch

XMind

http://www.xmind.net

Mindjet

http://www.mindjet.com

Cocktail Napkin

Just kidding.

 

 

As relevant today as it was then

battle-of-athens-tn-sign-430For your consideration, here are two examples of why our founders wrote the second amendment. The first is a true case where infringement by our government cost numerous citizens their lives in Texas because a law abiding citizen obeyed an unjust law and did not carry her weapon into a restaurant. The second is a true case where tyrannical local government was defeated by citizens exercising their second amendment rights just as the founding fathers intended.

Carry hand guns to defend against those who would attack you on the streets, keep a shotgun in the house to defend against armed intruders, and keep so called “assault weapons” to defend your right to have the other weapons when unjust laws are used by government to take them away.

We are currently beset by a government that wishes to remove your liberties, and that government has been methodically doing so for decades. The final dissolution of your freedom is right around the corner after they remove your right to keep and bear arms. They’ve already removed you right to manufacture arms.

Do not think that the NRA will actually protect your second amendment rights. The NRA is an organization that supports gun manufacturers and gun retailers. They have little interest in your individual liberties, otherwise they would fight for your rights to have clubs, knives, swords, or spears. Not only should “assault weapons” bans be defeated, all laws against other blade, club, electrical, and alternative propellant weapons should be repealed.

If you’re a member of the NRA, consider writing them and asking why they don’t fight for all your second amendment rights.

Liberty will decline until the GOP is utterly defeated

crying-statue-of-libertyThe republican party is the one thing that stands in the way of Americans regaining the ground lost in our struggle for liberty.

Is that a shocking statement? Perhaps it shocks people, especially conservatives and freedom loving republicans. But it is simple logic based on fact.

The progressive elements in the republican party have been injecting compromise and pushing progressive agendas alongside the democrat party for decades, and they’ve steadily reduced the influence and power of conservatives within the GOP. The base has been very slow to realize this, even with the nominations of progressive liberals like McCain and Romney in the last two elections.

The populace has lost vast amounts of the freedom and liberty that our forefathers sacrificed their lives for through the bi-partisan enactments of the Patriot Act, the War on Drugs, The War on Terror, and a million tiny cuts like expanded and liberal interpretations of imminent domain and wealth redistribution.

The GOP leadership are merely progressive authoritarians who continue to inflict wounds upon our dying liberty.

There is one value that should unify the atheist, Christian, modern Satanist, Wiccan, conservative, liberal, Homosexual, Indian, African, Asian, and Anglo alike:

Allow your fellow human being to do as they will as long as they don’t infringe on the liberty of others to do likewise.

Indeed, the only human who would be against such a value statement would be one who believes he knows what’s best for everyone else, or one who desires dominion over others. That person would be elitist and evil. And the republican and democrats party leaderships are utterly infested with such people.

There is no doubt that man has a free will and a basic morality (sense of right and wrong), whther you believe it came from nature or God. The attempts by those in power, whether governmental authorities or elected legislators, judges, and representatives, to limit INDIVIDUAL liberty beyond restraining others from infringing on INDIVIDUAL liberty is immoral and elitist.

Once the GOP falls, the vast majority of those who support it will flock to the libertarian cause, and there will finally be a choice between good and evil at our elections.

Not clear enough? The Democrat leadership is by and large evil. As is the Republican leadership.

Do you believe any man or woman other than yourself knows what’s best for you? The democrat party leaders think they know better. The republican leaders think they know better. They both think you shouldn’t be trusted with even the pitiable amount of individual freedom you have today. They want to put additional restraints upon you, control more of your property, and invade every aspect of your life for the welfare of the masses.

Drop out of the political prison they’ve built in your mind and fire your first shot in the war to take back our freedom by joining the Libertarian party and supporting its candidates.

I Need My Moonshine

Escapism from barry munsterteiger on Vimeo.

The state of having wandering and imaginative thoughts in order to remove one's self from reality.

Shot with Panasonic AF100, Canon 1D Mark IV & the Cineflex HD. Your headphones will give you a true enthusiast's experience.

Credits:

Barry Munsterteiger -Writer, Director, Animator, Editor, Rider
Colin Ducey – Co-Director, Director of Photography, Producer, Camera Car Owner Operator
Tom Miller – Cineflex Operator
Cameron Baird – Art Director, Assistant Director
Garrett Freberg – Assistant Director
Conrad Slater – Audio Recording, Camera Car Driver
Matthew Zipkin – Original Music and Sound Design
Mark Coleran – UI Design
Aaron Owen – Assistant DP, Data Management, Driver, Traffic Control
John McGovern – Vehicle Prep, Transportation, Traffic Control
Michael Jordan – Location Scout, Safety
Peter Newfield – Locations
Zach von Szeremy – Camera Car Grip
Joshua Vaughan – Camera Car Grip

Special Thanks, John Paul Canton, Andrea Onida, Andrew Sather, John Crossley, Russ Miller and all of our families.

Walking Dead Should Have Frustration in the Title of Every Episode

zombieI’m a late arriving fan of “The Walking Dead”. I was four seasons late getting on board the “Breaking Bad” train and the wagon still hasn’t arrived for me to join the hordes of followers who still go rabid over “The Wire”.

I like to dive into a series and watch them in marathon sittings of several hours each after they’ve been released on Netflix or Amazon.

I’ve never been much for tolerating cliffhangers. I like to get the anticlimactic moment of finding out we’ll never know who shot J.R. because it was all a dream over and done with in the time it takes the to click “Watch next episode” on the Google TV remote.

But WD is driving me insane. You’d think that two or three months into a zombie apocalypse the characters would start figuring out that t-shirts and jeans are not effective armor against zombies. And that eventually all the ammunition is going to run out and it’s time to start turning car leaf springs into swords and spears. Especially when every report from the muzzle of a firearm is known to draw in hordes of hungry unwrapped mummies (let’s face it, is there really any difference between a zombie and a naked mummy?).

But the writers for WD are banking heavily on our ability to suspend disbelief. We’re expected to assume that if we were all standing outside a tottering old barn with a hundred or so flesh eating zombies trapped inside it would be perfectly reasonable to have a loud, obnoxious argument so they could hear their food calling and get real riled up.

Do they seriously think we’d believe that half the population would die sitting inside their cars with their hands still on the steering wheels as if they’d be flash frozen instead of going down with a fever that should have turned them into revived Walkers. There’s no explanation for those corpses sitting there as if they’d been turned to pillars of salt.

So here’s some advice for next season, writers of “The Walking Dead”. Zombies are the characters in your TV show, not your audience.

Have the zombie children get discovered and killed off within two episodes. Kids don’t last in the woods longer than that even when there aren’t ravenous undead galavanting about the countryside.

Have that idiot deputy come to his senses and break into a motorcycle shop for some CE racing leathers and body armor. A few motorcycle helmets and leather gloves would be helpful too for defending against ghouls who have nothing but teeth and fingernails for weapons.

And for Stephen King’s sake, have the characters find something more substantial to have screaming matches about other than who gets to carry a pea shooter revolver that nobody can dare use because of the noise anyway.

By the way, thanks for killing off the groups’ gun control nut and Shane. They were both wearing pretty thin on me.

All that said, this is the most engaging zombie apocalypse series ever. Just remember that the audience members have pre-apocalypse brains and try to keep it just a little more real.

DPS Troopers Sexually Assault Female Travelers

Have you heard this one?

Irving Women Sue State Troopers Over Roadside Body Cavity Search

I’ve always been one to give law enforcement officers below the rank of Captain the benifit of the doubt, but this one really looks undisputable.

This is not an unlawful search and seazuire. This is rape at the hands of the State.

The troopers involved deserve criminal incarceration and fines. Firing is way too lenient for rapists and those who conspire to commit rape.

We should learn the following lessons:

The agents of local, state, and federal government sometimes commit crimes and violate their oath to uphold the United States Constitution for the higher priority of revenue.

The TSA, ATF, FBI, and DEA are not the only government agencies that sometimes do poor screening and hire dumbasses or criminal minds.

Citizens should exercise their rights to defend themselves against unlawful search and seizure. I guarantee you if a person trys to put any part of themselves or any other object into one of my no-touchy places I’m going to react with extreme violence. A rapist is a rapist, whether they’re wearing a badge or a ski mask. If they attempt to go where no man has gone before on me I’m gonna do my level best to stop them, even if that means they die in the process.

Take this advice from a former law enforcement professional: Arm yourself at every opportunity. Most law enforcers are willing to make grave personal sacrifices to protect you and visit justice upon evil doers. But there are a few who are evil doers themselves, and no one can protect you from them but you.

Frazier Prediction as of 2152 CT 11/6/12

Here’s my assesment of the Fort Frazier crystal ball as of 9:52 PM:

Obama wins 290 to 248. And I threw in a couple of waffle states to Romney.

Bummer. We the people lose either way, but for some reason I prefer to be carried to hell in a republican handbasket instead of a democrat handbasket.

Romney

Obama

Alabama

9

0

Alaska

3

0

Arizona

11

0

Arkansas

6

0

California

0

55

Colorado

0

9

?

2152 – O

Connecticut

7

0

Delaware

3

0

Florida

0

29

?

2152 – O

Georgia

16

0

Hawaii

0

4

?

2152 – O

Idaho

4

0

?

2152 – R

Illinois

0

20

Indiana

11

0

Iowa

0

6

Kansas

6

0

Kentucky

8

0

Louisianna

8

0

Maine

0

4

Maryland

0

10

Massachusetts

0

11

Michigan

0

16

Minnesota

0

10

Mississippi

6

0

Missouri

10

0

Montana

3

0

Nebraska

5

0

Nevada

0

6

New Hampshire

0

4

New Jersey

0

14

New Mexico

0

5

New York

0

29

North Carolina

15

0

?

2152 – R

North Dakota

3

0

Ohio

0

18

?

2152 – O

Oklahoma

7

0

Oregon

7

0

?

2152 – R

Pennsylvania

0

20

Rhode Island

0

4

South Carolina

9

0

South Dakota

3

0

Tennesee

11

0

Texas

38

0

Utah

6

0

Vermont

0

3

Virginia

13

0

?

2152 – R

Washington

12

0

?

2152 – R

Washington D.C.

0

3

West Virginia

5

0

Wisconsin

0

10

Wyoming

3

0

248

290

 

Don’t just vote on which handbasket you’re carried to hell in

Wayne Root has some good points, but be aware of your location and the fact that he does not speak for the Libertarian party on any official level. He’s a Vegas gambling statistician, and he’s simply done the same thing Ron Paul did (which I despise): compromised his convictions and returned to the republican party. He’s no more a Libertarian than Arlen Specter is a republican. Would you take advice from Arlen Specter on how republicans should vote?

Texas is already in the bag for Romney. No matter what you vote, the 38 electoral votes provided by Texas will go to Romney.

Thus, if you vote for Romney as a Texas resident at this point you will be making zero difference in the outcome.

If you vote for Obama as a Texas resident you will be making zero difference in the outcome.

Voting for Gary Johnson will make a difference…not in who becomes POTUS, but in whether we have real choices in the future. Just 5% of the popular vote going to a third party will open the door to that third party recieving a large portion of the federal moneys currently going to just the GOP and DNC campaigns. Eventually, that’s a chance for someone to reach positions in enough offices to abolish the practice of tax dollars being funnelled to any political party at all, finally leveling the playing field.

So are we Texas Libertarians going to simply vote on which hand basket we’re going to go to hell in when that’s already decided? Or are we going to cast a vote that has a possibility of contributing to the eventuality of changing course?

Don’t Waste Your Votes This Year

I’d like to point out an exclusive opportunity for Texans posed by this year’s Presidential election.

I realize that many of you have supported Mit Romney and a few may be hoping for Obama to win a second term. The outcome of this election for Texas is as certain as it was for the last one: all 38 Texas electoral college votes will go to the Republican candidate.

For those of you who have participated with me in freindly debates about wasted votes, I want to point out that if you are a Texas resident, a vote for Obama or Romney is a wasted vote this go-round. Romney will carry Texas, period, just as McCain did four years ago.

Voting for a third party this year will have no effect on the overall outcome for Texas.

BUT, voting for a third party will add to the growing voice of us Americans who have become fed up with the partisan shenanigans, out of control spending, and total assults on liberty by the two primary parties. I’m not asking you to vote Libertarian, I’m asking you to find a third party candidate you truly agree with and vote for them, wether that’s Gary Johnson, Jill Stein, left wing, right wing, whatever.

It’s a golden opportunity to make your vote count for something with no worries about needing to vote for Romney to cancel out a vote for Obama and vice-versa.

In the Texas situation this year, not voting third party IS a wasted vote.

After Four Years of the Romney Administration

Millions are holding their breath as campaigns burn their final fuel in last ditch efforts to capture the undecided.

Some believe that Mit Romney is the only chance we have to put America back on the road to prosperity. Conservative independents far and wide are putting all the weight they can muster behind Mit, hoping against hope that a Republican victory will not only stop the decline but reverse the direction of the economy and restore the American dream.

Prosperity, prosperity, prosperity. That is what the masses desire.

But prosperity is not the American dream. The American dream is liberty.

Perhaps Mit will win. Will you be better off four years later? Maybe you’ll be more prosperous…but you will once again have sacrificed some liberty for security. Those who do so deserve neither.

One day a Libertarian will be president. Let’s just pray folks wake up and vote Libertarian before there’s no other choice…then it will be too late and a Libertarian will be elected because they are the only ones who persevere in spite of overwhelming odds.

Look, conservatives, Lucy is holding that football for you again.

Voting for the lesser of two evils will always lead to more evil.

– Penn Jillette

Do the math. I’m off to the early voting polls to cast my vote for Gary Johnson.

Not Yours To Give

The Libertarian movement traces its roots to points far beyond its official beginning as an organized political party. Arguably, some of the earliest proponents of the Libertarian position included John Locke, Lysander Spooner, and Col David “Davy” Crockett. Davy Crockett is one of my favorite heroes.

Aside from the courage he displayed prior to and during his ultimate self-sacrifice at the Alamo, Crockett had no problem standing up to his peers in Congress; and in one of his final speeches politely told the entire crowd of fellow senators they could all go to hell and he would go to Texas in response to their refusal to send aid to the new Republic that was arrising in defiance of the bloody tyrannies of Santa Anna.

Here is a decidedly Libertarian story from the life and times of Col. David Crockett:

NOT YOURS TO GIVE
– By Colonel David Crockett; Compiled by Edward S. Ellis

One day in the House of Representatives, a bill was taken up appropriating money for the benefit of a widow of a distinguished naval officer. Several beautiful speeches had been made in its support. The Speaker was just about to put the question when Crockett arose:

“Mr. Speaker–I have as much respect for the memory of the deceased, and as much sympathy for the sufferings of the living, if suffering there be, as any man in this House, but we must not permit our respect for the dead or our sympathy for a part of the living to lead us into an act of injustice to the balance of the living. I will not go into an argument to prove that Congress has no power to appropriate this money as an act of charity. Every member upon this floor knows it. We have the right, as individuals, to give away as much of our own money as we please in charity; but as members of Congress we have no right so to appropriate a dollar of the public money. Some eloquent appeals have been made to us upon the ground that it is a debt due the deceased. Mr. Speaker, the deceased lived long after the close of the war; he was in office to the day of his death, and I have never heard that the government was in arrears to him.

Every man in this House knows it is not a debt. We cannot, without the grossest corruption, appropriate this money as the payment of a debt. We have not the semblance of authority to appropriate it as a charity. Mr. Speaker, I have said we have the right to give as much money of our own as we please. I am the poorest man on this floor. I cannot vote for this bill, but I will give one week’s pay to the object, and if every member of Congress will do the same, it will amount to more than the bill asks.”

He took his seat. Nobody replied. The bill was put upon its passage, and, instead of passing unanimously, as was generally supposed, and as, no doubt, it would, but for that speech, it received but few votes, and, of course, was lost.

Later, when asked by a friend why he had opposed the appropriation, Crockett gave this explanation:

“Several years ago I was one evening standing on the steps of the Capitol with some other members of Congress, when our attention was attracted by a great light over in Georgetown . It was evidently a large fire. We jumped into a hack and drove over as fast as we could. In spite of all that could be done, many houses were burned and many families made homeless, and, besides, some of them had lost all but the clothes they had on. The weather was very cold, and when I saw so many women and children suffering, I felt that something ought to be done for them. The next morning a bill was introduced appropriating $20,000 for their relief. We put aside all other business and rushed it through as soon as it could be done.

“The next summer, when it began to be time to think about the election, I concluded I would take a scout around among the boys of my district. I had no opposition there, but, as the election was some time off, I did not know what might turn up. When riding one day in a part of my district in which I was more of a stranger than any other, I saw a man in a field plowing and coming toward the road. I gauged my gait so that we should meet as he came to the fence. As he came up, I spoke to the man. He replied politely, but, as I thought, rather coldly.

“I began: ‘Well, friend, I am one of those unfortunate beings called candidates, and–’

“‘Yes, I know you; you are Colonel Crockett, I have seen you once before, and voted for you the last time you were elected. I suppose you are out electioneering now, but you had better not waste your time or mine. I shall not vote for you again.’

“This was a sockdolager . . . I begged him to tell me what was the matter.

“‘Well, Colonel, it is hardly worth-while to waste time or words upon it. I do not see how it can be mended, but you gave a vote last winter which shows that either you have not capacity to understand the Constitution, or that you are wanting in the honesty and firmness to be guided by it. In either case you are not the man to represent me. But I beg your pardon for expressing it in that way. I did not intend to avail myself of the privilege of the constituent to speak plainly to a candidate for the purpose of insulting or wounding you. I intend by it only to say that your understanding of the Constitution is very different from mine; and I will say to you what, but for my rudeness, I should not have said, that I believe you to be honest. . . . But an understanding of the Constitution different from mine I cannot overlook, because the Constitution, to be worth anything, must be held sacred, and rigidly observed in all its provisions. The man who wields power and misinterprets it is the more dangerous the more honest he is.’

“‘I admit the truth of all you say, but there must be some mistake about it, for I do not remember that I gave any vote last winter upon any constitutional question.’

“‘No, Colonel, there’s no mistake. Though I live here in the backwoods and seldom go from home, I take the papers from Washington and read very carefully all the proceedings of Congress. My papers say that last winter you voted for a bill to appropriate $20,000 to some sufferers by a fire in Georgetown . Is that true?’

“‘Well, my friend; I may as well own up. You have got me there. But certainly nobody will complain that a great and rich country like ours should give the insignificant sum of $20,000 to relieve its suffering women and children, particularly with a full and overflowing Treasury, and I am sure, if you had been there, you would have done just as I did.’

“‘It is not the amount, Colonel, that I complain of; it is the principle. In the first place, the government ought to have in the Treasury no more than enough for its legitimate purposes. But that has nothing to do with the question. The power of collecting and disbursing money at pleasure is the most dangerous power that can be intrusted to man, particularly under our system of collecting revenue by a tariff, which reaches every man in the country, no matter how poor he may be, and the poorer he is the more he pays in proportion to his means. What is worse, it presses upon him without his knowledge where the weight centers, for there is not a man in the United States who can ever guess how much he pays to the government. So you see, that while you are contributing to relieve one, you are drawing it from thousands who are even worse off than he. If you had the right to give anything, the amount was simply a matter of discretion with you, and you had as much right to give $20,000,000 as $20,000. If you have the right to give to one, you have the right to give to all; and, as the Constitution neither defines charity nor stipulates the amount, you are at liberty to give to any and everything which you may believe, or profess to believe, is a charity, and to any amount you may think proper. You will very easily perceive what a wide door this would open for fraud and corruption and favoritism, on the one hand, and for robbing the people on the other. No, Colonel, Congress has no right to give charity. Individual members may give as much of their own money as they please, but they have no right to touch a dollar of the public money for that purpose. If twice as many houses had been burned in this county as in Georgetown , neither you nor any other member of Congress would have thought of appropriating a dollar for our relief. There are about two hundred and forty members of Congress. If they had shown their sympathy for the sufferers by contributing each one week’s pay, it would have made over $13,000. There are plenty of wealthy men in and around Washington who could have given $20,000 without depriving themselves of even a luxury of life. The congressmen chose to keep their own money, which, if reports be true, some of them spend not very creditably; and the people about Washington , no doubt, applauded you for relieving them from the necessity of giving by giving what was not yours to give. The people have delegated to Congress, by the Constitution, the power to do certain things. To do these, it is authorized to collect and pay moneys, and for nothing else. Everything beyond this is usurpation, and a violation of the Constitution.

“‘So you see, Colonel, you have violated the Constitution in what I consider a vital point. It is a precedent fraught with danger to the country, for when Congress once begins to stretch its power beyond the limits of the Constitution, there is no limit to it, and no security for the people. I have no doubt you acted honestly, but that does not make it any better, except as far as you are personally concerned, and you see that I cannot vote for you.’

“I tell you I felt streaked. I saw if I should have opposition, and this man should go to talking, he would set others to talking, and in that district I was a gone fawn-skin. I could not answer him, and the fact is, I was so fully convinced that he was right, I did not want to. But I must satisfy him, and I said to him:

“‘Well, my friend, you hit the nail upon the head when you said I had not sense enough to understand the Constitution. I intended to be guided by it, and thought I had studied it fully. I have heard many speeches in Congress about the powers of Congress, but what you have said here at your plow has got more hard, sound sense in it than all the fine speeches I ever heard. If I had ever taken the view of it that you have, I would have put my head into the fire before I would have given that vote; and if you will forgive me and vote for me again, if I ever vote for another unconstitutional law I wish I may be shot.’

“He laughingly replied: ‘Yes, Colonel, you have sworn to that once before, but I will trust you again upon one condition. You say that you are convinced that your vote was wrong. Your acknowledgment of it will do more good than beating you for it. If, as you go around the district, you will tell people about this vote, and that you are satisfied it was wrong, I will not only vote for you, but will do what I can to keep down opposition, and, perhaps, I may exert some little influence in that way.’

“‘If I don’t,’ said I, ‘I wish I may be shot; and to convince you that I am in earnest in what I say I will come back this way in a week or ten days, and if you will get up a gathering of the people, I will make a speech to them. Get up a barbecue, and I will pay for it.’

“‘No, Colonel, we are not rich people in this section, but we have plenty of provisions to contribute for a barbecue, and some to spare for those who have none. The push of crops will be over in a few days, and we can then afford a day for a barbecue. This is Thursday; I will see to getting it up on Saturday week. Come to my house on Friday, and we will go together, and I promise you a very respectable crowd to see and hear you.’

“‘Well, I will be here. But one thing more before I say good-by. I must know your name.’

“‘My name is Bunce.’

“‘Not Horatio Bunce?’

“‘Yes.’

“‘Well, Mr. Bunce, I never saw you before, though you say you have seen me, but I know you very well. I am glad I have met you, and very proud that I may hope to have you for my friend.’

“It was one of the luckiest hits of my life that I met him. He mingled but little with the public, but was widely known for his remarkable intelligence and incorruptible integrity, and for a heart brimful and running over with kindness and benevolence, which showed themselves not only in words but in acts. He was the oracle of the whole country around him, and his fame had extended far beyond the circle of his immediate acquaintance. Though I had never met him before, I had heard much of him, and but for this meeting it is very likely I should have had opposition, and had been beaten. One thing is very certain, no man could now stand up in that district under such a vote.

“At the appointed time I was at his house, having told our conversation to every crowd I had met, and to every man I stayed all night with, and I found that it gave the people an interest and a confidence in me stronger than I had every seen manifested before.

“Though I was considerably fatigued when I reached his house, and, under ordinary circumstances, should have gone early to bed, I kept him up until midnight, talking about the principles and affairs of government, and got more real, true knowledge of them than I had got all my life before.

“I have known and seen much of him since, for I respect him–no, that is not the word–I reverence and love him more than any living man, and I go to see him two or three times every year; and I will tell you, sir, if every one who professes to be a Christian lived and acted and enjoyed it as he does, the religion of Christ would take the world by storm.

“But to return to my story. The next morning we went to the barbecue, and, to my surprise, found about a thousand men there. I met a good many whom I had not known before, and they and my friend introduced me around until I had got pretty well acquainted–at least, they all knew me.

“In due time notice was given that I would speak to them. They gathered up around a stand that had been erected. I opened my speech by saying:

“‘Fellow-citizens–I present myself before you today feeling like a new man. My eyes have lately been opened to truths which ignorance or prejudice, or both, had heretofore hidden from my view. I feel that I can today offer you the ability to render you more valuable service than I have ever been able to render before. I am here today more for the purpose of acknowledging my error than to seek your votes. That I should make this acknowledgment is due to myself as well as to you. Whether you will vote for me is a matter for your consideration only.’

“I went on to tell them about the fire and my vote for the appropriation and then told them why I was satisfied it was wrong. I closed by saying:

“‘And now, fellow-citizens, it remains only for me to tell you that the most of the speech you have listened to with so much interest was simply a repetition of the arguments by which your neighbor, Mr. Bunce, convinced me of my error.

“‘It is the best speech I ever made in my life, but he is entitled to the credit for it. And now I hope he is satisfied with his convert and that he will get up here and tell you so.’

“He came upon the stand and said:

“‘Fellow-citizens–It affords me great pleasure to comply with the request of Colonel Crockett. I have always considered him a thoroughly honest man, and I am satisfied that he will faithfully perform all that he has promised you today.’

“He went down, and there went up from that crowd such a shout for Davy Crockett as his name never called forth before.

“I am not much given to tears, but I was taken with a choking then and felt some big drops rolling down my cheeks. And I tell you now that the remembrance of those few words spoken by such a man, and the honest, hearty shout they produced, is worth more to me than all the honors I have received and all the reputation I have ever made, or ever shall make, as a member of Congress.

“Now, sir,” concluded Crockett, “you know why I made that speech yesterday.

“There is one thing now to which I will call your attention. You remember that I proposed to give a week’s pay. There are in that House many very wealthy men–men who think nothing of spending a week’s pay, or a dozen of them, for a dinner or a wine party when they have something to accomplish by it. Some of those same men made beautiful speeches upon the great debt of gratitude which the country owed the deceased–a debt which could not be paid by money–and the insignificance and worthlessness of money, particularly so insignificant a sum as $10,000, when weighted against the honor of the nation. Yet not one of them responded to my proposition. Money with them is nothing but trash when it is to come out of the people. But it is the one great thing for which most of them are striving, and many of them sacrifice honor, integrity, and justice to obtain it.”

Holders of political office are but reflections of the dominant leadership–good or bad–among the electorate.

Horatio Bunce is a striking example of responsible citizenship. Were his kind to multiply, we would see many new faces in public office; or, as in the case of Davy Crockett, a new Crockett.

For either the new faces or the new Crocketts, we must look to the Horatio in ourselves!

Draining the Swamp

An old adage says that to eliminate alligators one must first drain the swamp.

While draining the swamp might eventually eliminate the gators, one will simply experience terror at how many gators there actually are and the gators will simply migrate to another swamp and return when the original one is refilled.

To really get rid of gators one has to follow three steps:

  1.   Stop reproduction
  2.   Destroy the current residents
  3.   Create barriers to new immigration

And there you have the simple process for eliminating virtually any problem, not limited to but including man-eating critters.

In my world, the swamp is Microsoft Windows. It’s a crufty, patchy, fragile environment full of problems that recurr and reproduce if they are not methodically and logically dealt with on a timely basis. There is no option for draining the swamp. Fiscal responsibility and the choke hold Microsoft has achienved on the world of corporate business software limits the ammount of processes that can be moved to dry land (UNIX, Linux, Mainframe, MAC).

So we follow problem and incident management techniques under the ITIL (Information Technology Information Library) structure to eliminate recurrences (reproduction) of incidents, resolve problems permanently, and create a continuous cycle of quality improvement to keep new problems and incidents from developing (barriers to immigration).

It’s not nearly as fun or exciting as gator hunting, but it is sometimes just as terrifying.