Draining the Swamp

An old adage says that to eliminate alligators one must first drain the swamp.

While draining the swamp might eventually eliminate the gators, one will simply experience terror at how many gators there actually are and the gators will simply migrate to another swamp and return when the original one is refilled.

To really get rid of gators one has to follow three steps:

  1.   Stop reproduction
  2.   Destroy the current residents
  3.   Create barriers to new immigration

And there you have the simple process for eliminating virtually any problem, not limited to but including man-eating critters.

In my world, the swamp is Microsoft Windows. It’s a crufty, patchy, fragile environment full of problems that recurr and reproduce if they are not methodically and logically dealt with on a timely basis. There is no option for draining the swamp. Fiscal responsibility and the choke hold Microsoft has achienved on the world of corporate business software limits the ammount of processes that can be moved to dry land (UNIX, Linux, Mainframe, MAC).

So we follow problem and incident management techniques under the ITIL (Information Technology Information Library) structure to eliminate recurrences (reproduction) of incidents, resolve problems permanently, and create a continuous cycle of quality improvement to keep new problems and incidents from developing (barriers to immigration).

It’s not nearly as fun or exciting as gator hunting, but it is sometimes just as terrifying.

avatar Bloviating Zeppelin

The department “upgraded” to Windows 7 recently. Outlook changed, Word changed, everything changed. The IT cops were literally salivating at the “upgrade.” ANYthing to do with an “upgrade” involves copious amounts of drool. You could ask the question “but what does it do that is both easier and better” and would receive, as a reply, the bleat: “BUT IT’S AN UPGRADE.”

Outlook sucks and Words sucks and both simply CHANGED solely for the SAKE of change. Now, in order to PRINT, you have to go through “options” and blah and blah and “do you want to do that” and “do you REALLY want to do that” and “are you REALLY fucking sure you want to do that”?

ENOUGH with the “update” simply to update!



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